Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure.
BPOV
It was Tennyson that said "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". What a freakin' moron. Just look at me…ugh. I have psoriasis on my legs, arms and back. I am lucky right now it is controlled somewhat by my meds but that is no guarantee that it will stay in remission. I have been dealing with this crap since I was fourteen. So yeah, I'd had no boyfriends, no pool parties, no prom and no cool, cute clothes in as many years. It really sucks to wear long sleeves and long pants year round but I hate the stares and the rude comments about the way I look so I do it, making the move to U Dub welcome. At least it's cold and rainy so I'll blend with my attire. Not so much in Phoenix where it reaches triple digits in the summer. I WILL NOT miss the heat. I also want my Mom and Phil, her new husband, to have the newlywed home life. They've been married since the spring and haven't had much time alone with a twenty-one year old recluse living with them.
"Bella, sweetie? Are you ready to go? We don't want you to miss your flight and you know how crazy the interstate around Sky Harbor gets during rush hour," Renee frantically yelled down the hallway. "It's almost noon and your flight leaves at 2 pm."
"Yes, Mom, all I have to do is take my Enbrel injection and I'm all set to go to the airport. Give me just a few more minutes. Phil has everything loaded in the car. Okay?" Bella replied as she headed down the hall to the kitchen.
Renee left me alone after she told me she was heading out to the car to wait. I sat down at the kitchen table and lifted the bottom of my long sleeved tee shirt up over my abdomen and grabbed the alcohol prep pad I had set out along with a prefilled syringe of meds I take once a week. I swabbed an area on my stomach pinched the skin in between my fingers. I proceeded take a deep breath in and to give myself my injection. Afterward, I cleaned off the injection site. Luckily no bleeding this time. After I cleaned up the area and disposed of the syringe in the sharps container I took one last sweep through the house, grabbed my messenger bag with my iPod and iPad inside and headed out into the Arizona heat.
"Are you ready, baby? " Renee asked as I got into the back seat of the car.
"Ready as I'm going to be, mom. Let's go," I said as I put my ear buds in to listen to some classic rock on the way to the airport.
"Ok, Bella. Its noon now and we should be at the airport by 12:30, Plenty of time to get checked in and through security checks," Phil said as he backed out of the drive and drove out into the main street headed for Sky Harbor International Airport.
I was flying into Seattle and my dad, Charlie is going to meet me there. He is the Chief of Police in a small town a few hours away from Seattle called Forks. Yes, like the cutlery. The population in Forks is smaller than the population of my high school in Phoenix. Not much action, but Charlie was born and raised there. He and Mom met when she moved there her senior year from Arizona. It was love at first sight, or so they thought. They dated all that year and he proposed to her at their senior prom. Obviously she said yes and they were married 6 weeks later at the young ages of 18.
I came along about a year later and things were good for a few years but Renee felt tied down and secluded in Forks. Charlie wouldn't leave Forks and since Mom wanted out, the marriage crumbled. I don't remember much about it all since I was only four when Renee scooped me up one day and moved us to Phoenix to start over.
I was a happy and bubbly child so I have been told. My relationship with Charlie was strained due to the distance we lived apart and he was not a man of many words over the telephone. I visited my dad for two weeks every summer until I became a teenager and the psoriasis started. That is when my world crashed and I closed myself off from my family and friends, and immersed myself in reading and my school work. I graduated top of my class in high school but I refused to be valedictorian because there was no way I could get in front of all those people and make a speech. I was way too self conscious. I was still awarded a two year scholarship to the University of Phoenix, which made my parents so very proud and they encouraged me to join a sorority or clubs so I would make friends but that wasn't happening. No way. So, I did like high school and focused on my studies, deciding to major in literature as I wanted to be a writer someday. Lucky for me, U Dub has one of the best curriculums in the nation. I will be rooming in Pattison Hall with two other girls. This makes me a nervous wreck but I do not have the money to live off campus.
"We're here, Bell," Phil announced as he pulled into day parking and turned off the car.
We all got out and I threw my messenger bag over my shoulder, grabbed my rolling suitcase and my carry on and headed to the ticket booth. When we arrived, I checked my luggage, got my ticket and waited.
"I cannot believe my baby is going away. I am going to miss you so much! "Renee cried as she sat across from me wringing her hands, Phil by her side rubbing her back to try and console her.
"Mom, I am twenty-one years old. A lot of people go away to college at eighteen, so I'm going to be fine. Please, don't worry!" I exclaimed.
Mom has a flair for the dramatics and I knew I needed to nip this quickly.
"We've been through this many times, Mom. I need to do this. You two need the time alone and I need to spread my wings. I'll call and email as often as I can. Ok?"
"I know, Bella, but you are going to meet a new doctor and I won't be there for you," Renee said.
"Dr. Gernady has sent a referral to one of the dermatologists in Seattle. I should be getting a call the first of the week with an appointment to go in and meet the doctor. I just took my injection before we left home so I'm good for a week or so anyhow. And I have a full script of anxiety meds so please stop stressing! You know stress causes me to flare up," I tried to reason.
"I know, baby. I know. You're an adult and wise beyond your years at that. I just worry. That's what moms do. You'll know someday," she said as she reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Yeah, sure Mom. Guys are falling all over themselves to date me," I grumbled as I rolled my eyes at her.
'Flight 274 to Seattle is now boarding at Gate 15' was announced over the loudspeaker.
"That's me. I need to go. I will call you when I get settled."
After what seemed to be a ten minute hug with me dragging Renee along beside me, I made it to the security check. Renee kissed my cheek.
"Be safe, baby!" she exclaimed as Phil said goodbye to me one last time and he started walking away with Renee in tow.
I waved, trying to stop her rant before she drew more attention to us.
"I love you, sweetie!" Renee yelled out one last time as I cleared the security check.
I waved once more and turned to head to the plane to start my new life in Seattle. I just hope I can handle it.
Chapter 2
Letting Down the Walls
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. The great Stephenie Meyer does. I just love to borrow them for my own personal pleasure.
BPOV
The flight to Seattle was fairly uneventful, other than my constant state of being uncomfortable in my own skin and being mentally anxious being in such close proximity to all the people on the plane. The idea of seeing Charlie gave me some peace though. This would be the first time since my high school graduation two years prior that I'd seen Charlie in person. I tried to get him "wired" last winter with email and Facebook but he just grumbled and said that he didn't trust those new-fangled ways of communication so we stuck to weekly phone calls. He did finally relent and buy a cell phone last year and put me on his plan a few weeks ago so I'd be able to call him anytime. We're still working on the texting part.
My plane landed at SeaTac and I left the plane and wandered into the terminal. As I made my way to baggage claim to wait for my bags to make their way around to me I saw several couples embraced and teary over being reunited. As I am a sucker for a true "happily ever after" love story. I could only imagine some were husbands home from a long business trip or girlfriends flying in to visit their boyfriends in college. I sighed. I was happy for the people I saw but I was also a little bitter that I'd never have that kind of love story. As hard as I tried I couldn't stop the lone tear that rolled down my cheek.
"Bells?" I heard from behind me. I turned around and tried to wipe the sadness off my face as I saw Charlie standing awkwardly by the public phone a few yards away.
"Dad," I said softly as I broke into a small smile. Charlie ambled over to me and gave me a one-armed man-hug. I hugged him back and turned to the conveyor belt to retrieve my luggage once they came by.
"You look good, Bells. Hope our flight was ok," Charlie stated as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"It was fine, Dad. I'm just ready to get my stuff and get settled in. Since its Saturday I only have tomorrow and Monday to get my schedule, room assignments,books and get settled in before classes start Tuesday," I told Charlie, hoping he wouldn't think I was trying to blow him off, but knowing Dad he'd be glad for not needing to entertain me all weekend. There were fish to catch and ballgames to watch after all…Charlie loved his fishing and anything on ESPN.
"Sounds good. We'll just get your bags, grab a bite to eat, if you want and head on over to the campus. I know how organized you are so the sooner you get set up the easier it will be. Come on, let's head out," Charlie said as he grabbed my two bags from the carousel when they finally made their way around.
"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate all you are doing to help me out. I will feel better once I get to Pattison Hall and get settled," I said as we walked out into the cool, damp Seattle weather.
"Um, I hope you brought warm clothes, kid. This ain't warm and sunny Phoenix," Charlie chuckled as we loaded the trunk of the squad car. Great, I thought. The cop car isn't going to make blending in very easy today.
"Yeah, Dad, I think I have that covered with my year-round long sleeved attire." I told him, as I tried to make it sound like a joke on my part.
"Oh well, uh…yeah. Well, let's get you over to U Dub before it starts raining again. Don't want ya to catch a cold," Charlie stammered.
"Ok, Dad. Let's roll." I told him as I climbed into the squad car.
About thirty minutes later we pulled in to the parking lot to the Admissions Building at the University of Seattle or U Dub as it was most commonly known as. There were people everywhere, scurrying around trying to figure out where they needed to be and most close by were staring at the 'girl in the cop car' as they walked by. I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never.
"Well, Bella. I'll just wait here and let you go get things sorted. "Charlie said as he surveyed the scene in front of him.
"Ok. Maybe this won't take long," I said as I steeled my nerves to go get into the fray.
I got out of the car and straightened out my clothes, making sure all my skin was covered and strolled into the Admissions office, hoping to avoid all eye contact. There were tables set up across the commons area, divided by alphabet so I found the "S" station and headed over. Luckily there was no waiting.
"Hi! Welcome to U Dub! My name is Angela Webber and I am a junior communications major here. What can I help you with?" said the pretty girl with chic glasses and long black hair.
"Uh, my name is Bella Swan. Well, Isabella Swan. Sorry. I prefer Bella but my paperwork is under Isabella. I am a junior transfer from Arizona." I stammered out, internally cringing at my actions.
"Ok, that's cool. I prefer Ang but I HATE to be called Angie, so I understand. Wow. Arizona? Bet you hate this cool weather!" Angela said as she sorted through the files to find my packet.
"Uh, yeah, I guess. I don't really do much outdoorsy stuff so I should be fine here. I got an email earlier this week and I know I am rooming in Pattison Hall in a triple suite but that's really all I know, sorry," I rambled on as I wondered where in the hell my verbal vomit was coming from.
"Yep! Here you are, Isabella Swan. Everything you need is located in this packet. Schedule, room assignments, book lists and a map of the campus. I room in Pattison too on the first floor. This is my room number and cell number. Call me or come by if you need anything. I'd be glad to help,"Angela gushed on as I took the file from her.
"Oh, thanks, Angela. I appreciate it," I said as I gathered my file knowing that I wouldn't be asking anyone for help unless I really needed it.
I put it all in my messenger bag and started for the door.
"No prob! And again, welcome!" I heard Angela shout as I headed back out to Charlie.
Charlie got out of the car and was headed to the trunk as I walked toward him.
"Did you get what you needed?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah, I did. You don't have to help me take my bags up. There are only two and my carry on. It won't be a problem to carry," I told Charlie, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself being escorted on foot by a uniformed police officer, even if it was just my dad.
"Well, if you're okay with that I'll just set your stuff out here and watch you in. Sorry we didn't grab dinner, kid, but I guess I need to head back to Forks and check in," Charlie said.
"That is what the cell phone is for, dad," I chuckled. "But I understand and I will call you soon."
"Call me if you need anything. I put $500 in your checking account this morning to help out with your expenses and I'll put more in when you need it. Just let me know," Charlie said sheepishly.
I guess I get my personality from Charlie since I am sure not hyper and flighty like Renee.
"Dad, you didn't need to do that. I have some grant money for books and stuff. I don't do anything extra so I don't need that money," I pleaded with him.
I don't like taking gifts from anyone. Call me weird but I have been that way since I was young. Charlie didn't make that much money and I didn't want to put him in a bind. He'd always paid his child support on-time, per Mom, but I was twenty-one now.
"I only have one child, Bells. Don't worry."
And with that Charlie gave me a stiff hug and said his goodbye. I said my goodbye back, kissed his cheek and I then grabbed my bags and headed across the concourse to the dorms.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Pattison Hall was a 6 story coed dorm located near the campus library. Perfect! Well, the library part was perfect. The coed thing made my heart race. The floors were coded with girls on odd floors and guys on the even floors, although we still shared common areas and the laundry room. I was not comfortable with people since I was not social at all but I really was not good with the opposite sex. Not that I had much experience but still. What guy wants to hang out with the flaky girl? None I had ever met.
I looked in my file and saw I was in room 312 so I headed to the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. After a short time the elevator deposited me on the third floor and there were girls everywhere. I meandered through the masses and found my room assignment. I got my key card out of my file and reached for the door as it swung open wide. I was met with a bright, smiling face with big blue eyes and a head full of spiky black hair.
"HI! I'm Alice! We are going to be roommates and the best of friends! I can see it! What's your name? Where are you from? What's your major? Oh, do you like to shop? I hope so because we need an outfit for the Back to School party next weekend! Do you have a boyfriend? Mine's named Jasper; well Jazz for short and you will meet him later. He lives on the sixth floor. I love your hair! I'm a fashion design major and I'm starting my junior year. I'm from the outskirts of Seattle but my parents thought my brother's and I needed to learn to live independently so this is my first year in the dorms. Oh and you will meet my brothers later too. Well one anyhow. Emmet is here at U Dub and he rooms with Jazz and his girlfriend, Rosalie will be rooming with us but she won't be here till tomorrow. My other brother lives off campus and his name is…" Alice rambled on and on and on without taking a breath.
"Uh, wow." I cut her off before she passed out from not breathing. "I'm Isabella Swan from Arizona but please call me Bella. I'm glad to meet you, Alice. Uh, I'm a literary major," I have been placed with the Energizer Bunny on crack.
"I am sorry to be such a spaz but this is sooo exciting, don't ya think?" Alice said as she grabbed my arm and spun me around in a full circle and shrieked. "I know you, Rose and I will have so much fun together! Which bed do you want?"
Random much? Hello? Oh shut up Bella, be nice. She is just trying to be nice to you. Take a deep breath. Where is my Xanax? I may need one ASAP. Now I'm having an inner monologue. I've officially lost it.
"I'll just set my stuff here and take this bed if that's ok," I asked, hoping to get the short version of yes or no.
"That's cool, Bella. We each have matching beds, tables, closets and a small window so one is as good as the other. We can go shopping and decorate in coordinating styles but still maintain our individual artistic expression which is very important!" Alice said as she bounced from foot to foot.
"Uh, yeah, that'll be ok, but I'm not really into shopping or decoration. I brought some sheets from home. I'll just need a desk lamp, a comforter and some towels. I can order them online…" I started.
"No way! We need to SEE what we all want and coordinate. Just hang with me and I will show you the ropes, sweetie," Alice said as she winked. "I'm going to run up to see what Jazz is doing. Want to come with me? "
"Oh, well, if it's okay this time I think I just want to unpack, shower and take a nap. It's been a long day with my flight and all. You go ahead and do whatever it is you want. Don't worry about me," I said trying not to sound to pathetic.
"Are you sure? I hate to ditch you already but Jazz just got here a little before you and I haven't seen him in a month since he and Rose, who I forgot to tell you is his twin sister, just got in from a trip to Texas celebrating his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I have missed my man!" Alice exclaimed as she started bouncing around again. Wow!
"It's fine. Have fun and I'll see you later," I said, hoping that she would take the hint.
"Ok, cool. Will see you later and we can head down to the cafeteria and pick up some supper so you can meet everyone," Alice stated as she bounded to the door.
"Ok, see ya," I said.
Alice waved and shut the door behind her as I fell back on the bed in a heap. I needed a shower to wash off the flaky skin, an anxiety pill and a long nap, not necessarily in that order. This is going to be a long year. God help me.
